The Comedic Factor

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“BURGAAAAAHHHHHH?!!!” Yah Need Feh Cook!: How to Date a Jamaican

Courtesy of

Courtesy of

Hello,  my Comedic Factor readers!.  Oh, how I have missed thee! I took a brief hiatus in lieu of the recent bombing that occurred at the Boston Marathon. It was a terrible tragedy and my thoughts and prayers are definitely with the victims of this horrific tragedy.

At times like these, you don’t take your life and your family for granted, so I decided to go visit my parents yesterday at their new home.  I didn’t realize how much I missed being around my family, until I went to visit them. What I missed the most about going home is my mother‘s cooking.

My visit home yesterday sparked today’s topic for the Comedic Factor which happens to be about…you guessed it! Jamaicans lol. Dating a Jamaican to be more exact.  As I mentioned in previous posts, my parents and my whole family are from the great nation of Jamaica! I hadn’t visited home in a while and it was just very nice to taste my mother’s cooking again.

My parent’s have been married for 31 years and those two are pure comedy in their own right.

I called my mom up and here was how our conversation went lol:

Me: “Ma, I’m coming over to visit!”

My mother:  “Wha Yah mean ya comin ova?!”  (Loud Jamaican Patios voice)

Me: “Ma, I’m coming over to visit. I’m hungry. I know you cooked something.”

My mother: ” Una know feh a me a cook so?!  (Loud Jamaican Patios voice)

Me: “Ma, I know you cooked. It’s Sunday. You always cook lol.

My mother: “Hurry-up and come nuh. Schmsmmmmmmmmmmmmm****! ” (Loud sucking of the teeth action- lasted about 30 seconds lol)

Long story short, if you want some food and if you are hungrier than a hostage and starving like Marvin, then you should come over to a Jamaican’s house on a Sunday. I mean Jamaicans cook everyday, but on Sunday it’s like having Thanksgiving every week lol.  They will feed you, even if they don’t know you. Just come and eat.

Now, if you are contemplating dating a Jamaican man or a man whose parents are Jamaican, then you need to read my next statement very carefully. I’ll bold it for you: “BURGAAAAAHHHHHH?!!! YAH NEED FEH COOK!” Yup! That’s right.  I know my mother so well, that If I want to pop on by my parent’s house on a Sunday, I know she would have some kind of food prepared because that’s what Jamaican women do for their men. They mutha-freaking cook.

Jamaican men are not like your average American man. They want their women to know how to cook and cook well. Preferably, Jamaican men or men of Jamaican decent want their women to know how to cook their favorite Jamaican dish. I think I can count on one hand the amount of times I have seen my father eat fast-food.

So, of course I had to share this lovely and hysterically funny video from non-other than @DormtainmentTV’s  called “Dating a Jamaican.” I’m pretty sure some of you have seen this video, but the part that I thought was the funniest and most true was when Leaning Leon breaks out into song about his woman needing to know how to cook. Just watch it. It’s pure comedy at its best. Ladies take notes lol.

You want to know what my lovely mama cooked yesterday? Take a look below:

Courtesy of Kreative Fortune Productions, Inc.

Rice & Peas with Gunga Peas
Courtesy of Kreative Fortune Productions, Inc.

What’s that big yellow thing mixed in with the delicious Rice and peas with “Gunga peas’ aka Pigeon peas? Yup! It’s a fully -intact Scotch Bonnet Pepper!  As I stated in my previous post, Jamaicans! Oh How I love Thee: Comedian Leaning Leon from Dormtainment TV Throws Down in the Kitchen, Jamaicans always put Scotch Bonnet peppers in everything they cook, especially rice and peas and I had to take a picture and show my readers first-hand.


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April 2013
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Writer writes on everything...

The Seahorse Grill and Robbie's Kitchen

Executive Chef Robbie Joseph brings more than 35 years of culinary experience to his Montego Bay, Jamaica based restaurants and bars: THE SEAHORSE GRILL and ROBBIES KITCHEN. Specializing in fresh seafood, steaks, pastas, local Jamaican favourites and world class, gobal cuisine with a twist of west indian flare. Combine this simply great food with the casual elegant ambiance of both restaurants and you have an experience you won't soon forget!!!

The Dimwit Diary

A humorous website of assorted madness

Why are you so AWESOME and I SUCK?!

I have struggled to be famous for over a decade. I have learned talent and hard-work are not key factors. This blog is dedicated to my pursuit in figuring out what it takes… to be famous.

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